karesansui
i built an elaborate sand castle
with rooms to spare
a moat to protect it
each towering spire
a testament to perfection
and yet, no one lived there
and yet, the rain
perfect
isn't
present
i built an elaborate sand castle
with rooms to spare
a moat to protect it
each towering spire
a testament to perfection
and yet, no one lived there
and yet, the rain
love
is
love
i don’t know why
the chemicals that knit
to form the fragrance of that
first blushing mango
take me home in an instant
or why i feel more at ease
in the gentle rocking
of a commuter train
than i do in my home
i don’t know why
the line of your jaw
and the smoke in your eyes
make me knit letters into words
or why i would hang my heart
like a lantern before my doorway
to be bruised by the elements
beating louder there than in my chest
i don’t know why
i hate praise, but crave it
fear love, but need it
need touch, but reject it
or why i can shine
incandescent
yet still view myself
a moth
i don’t know why
i like what i like
want who i want
love who i love
i just know i do
and that is enough
appreciation
is not
satisfaction
starving, i was given
the most perfect strawberry
ripe, and generous with juice
whose flavour made me cry
just to taste
and yet
i was still hungry
when i said
i want you
i didn’t smile
so much as
bare my teeth
i have made
so many friends
because this country
put our foods
in the same aisle
the visible spectrum is a mere sliver
the silver on the back of the glass
that reflects our entire existence
but it is still only a sliver
my reds pulse deep bloody heat
the anger of injustice
the passion of existing regardless
and you will never see my infrared
but you will feel it all the same
my violets radiate high spirit light
the knowledge of my history
the compassion of my future
and you will never see my ultraviolet
but it will burn you all the same
my mother knit my black skin from starstuff
in a basement apartment
that had no room for her dreams
(so she placed them in me)
she gave me gemini
the night sky that pulses with
x-ray and gamma and
microwave and potential energy
and said all this can be yours
i gave you eyes to see
but they are not your vision
to think i spent years wearing only black
because they made no dye for
the colours i saw every time
i closed my eyes
my greens spread, earth-driven vines
the love of being alive
the yearning to hold you all
and you will never taste my chlorophyll
but it will feed you all the same
we lived in a moment
the one we just left
the one we just entered
the one about to come
we felt it all
divinity, infinite trinity
what a waste of time it is
waiting for now to be over
as if there was ever anything else
as if you can waste the infinite
So to drink, we have Prison
Sugary-sweet and full-flavoured
It's bad for the health but it sure tastes great
Or if you prefer, we have Diet Vengeance
It's not as satisfying as Prison
But you won't mind while
taste is on your lips
but i only asked for Justice
straight from the tap
a taste of remorse
an ounce of regret
a pint of recognition
a glass of restitution
i do not want
to drink your substitutes
only to find
that i am still thirsty
Well I'm sorry, but
If you aren't going order anything
I'm going to have to ask you to leave
how can we call it
liberation
if our only goal is
to be the ones who own
the brands, whips, and chains
i have an old bedraggled dog
i found when he was small
he does not jump, or dig, or fetch
he does not play at all
and though this dark companion
doesn't bring me any joy
i must, i must take care of him
this damnable good boy
he dashes through my hallways
like a beast that's gone insane
but when i try to walk him
he's an anchor on a chain
he barks at the most random hour
and wakes me from my sleep
he whines for food, but when he’s fed
he simply does not eat
when i try to leave my house
he lays and blocks the way
he'll stay until i sit with him
and waste the whole damn day
but as i know him better now
his pattern's gotten clear
and all his bad behaviour
has become, to me, more dear
he ran because in chasing him
i had to follow suit
he did not walk because the ground
was shaking underfoot
he did not eat because the food
had rotted on the plate
and when he barked it was because
i'd never been awake
he blocks the door to keep me
when i haven't stopped to rest
he reminds that i've only ever
tried to do my best
so even though i sometimes wish
he'd finally leave me be
i understand the value
of his brand of loyalty
i have an old bedraggled dog
i met when i was small
he stays with me to teach me
that it's still okay to fall
so when my dark companion
sees me hide away from joy
he must, he must take care of me
this damnable good boy