home

predator

when i said
i want you
i didn’t smile
so much as
bare my teeth

ethnic

i have made
so many friends
because this country
put our foods
in the same aisle

visible spectrum

the visible spectrum is a mere sliver
the silver on the back of the glass
that reflects our entire existence

but it is still only a sliver

my reds pulse deep bloody heat
the anger of injustice
the passion of existing regardless
and you will never see my infrared
but you will feel it all the same

my violets radiate high spirit light
the knowledge of my history
the compassion of my future
and you will never see my ultraviolet
but it will burn you all the same

my mother knit my black skin from starstuff
in a basement apartment
that had no room for her dreams
(so she placed them in me)

she gave me gemini
the night sky that pulses with
x-ray and gamma and
microwave and potential energy
and said all this can be yours
i gave you eyes to see
but they are not your vision

to think i spent years wearing only black
because they made no dye for
the colours i saw every time
i closed my eyes

my greens spread, earth-driven vines
the love of being alive
the yearning to hold you all
and you will never taste my chlorophyll
but it will feed you all the same

summer vacation

we lived in a moment
the one we just left
the one we just entered
the one about to come

we felt it all
divinity, infinite trinity

what a waste of time it is
waiting for now to be over
as if there was ever anything else
as if you can waste the infinite

is pepsi okay

So to drink, we have Prison
Sugary-sweet and full-flavoured
It's bad for the health but it sure tastes great

Or if you prefer, we have Diet Vengeance
It's not as satisfying as Prison
But you won't mind while
taste is on your lips

but i only asked for Justice
straight from the tap
a taste of remorse
an ounce of regret
a pint of recognition
a glass of restitution
i do not want
to drink your substitutes
only to find
that i am still thirsty

Well I'm sorry, but
If you aren't going order anything
I'm going to have to ask you to leave

spin two

how can we call it
liberation
if our only goal is
to be the ones who own
the brands, whips, and chains

this damnable good boy

i have an old bedraggled dog
i found when he was small
he does not jump, or dig, or fetch
he does not play at all

and though this dark companion
doesn't bring me any joy
i must, i must take care of him
this damnable good boy

he dashes through my hallways
like a beast that's gone insane
but when i try to walk him
he's an anchor on a chain

he barks at the most random hour
and wakes me from my sleep
he whines for food, but when he’s fed
he simply does not eat

when i try to leave my house
he lays and blocks the way
he'll stay until i sit with him
and waste the whole damn day

but as i know him better now
his pattern's gotten clear
and all his bad behaviour
has become, to me, more dear

he ran because in chasing him
i had to follow suit
he did not walk because the ground
was shaking underfoot

he did not eat because the food
had rotted on the plate
and when he barked it was because
i'd never been awake

he blocks the door to keep me
when i haven't stopped to rest
he reminds that i've only ever
tried to do my best

so even though i sometimes wish
he'd finally leave me be
i understand the value
of his brand of loyalty

i have an old bedraggled dog
i met when i was small
he stays with me to teach me
that it's still okay to fall

so when my dark companion
sees me hide away from joy
he must, he must take care of me
this damnable good boy

the tree of time

March 14, 2021

consider a tree. it begins as a sapling, young and green. pliable, but unsupported; delicate and unprotected. over time, it brings together sunlight, air, and water to form wood; to grow. the green sapling expands from within, leaving behind layers of wood. the elements put stress on the green flesh of the tree, prompting it to grow a thick bark, to protect itself. as the tree grows, the wood in the core grows thicker, and the bark becomes more durable — and the green remains sandwiched between the two.

tree diagram

the green is the part of the tree that is most alive. it brings nutrients to every branch and leaf, it grows in new directions, it is rich with water and minerals. the wood within provides structure — and also, a memory of how the tree used to take up space. the bark anticipates challenges and protects the green.

time, for us humans, is like a tree in this way.

our past is the wood: a document of everything we used to be, providing structure and stability for what we are now.

our future is the bark: our attempt at knowing what is coming, and preparing for it

our present is the green; a thin moment, rich with possibilities, the only part of our experience that can truly be changed. the only part that is truly alive.

but when we see a tree, we see it in its entirety. we hold the entirety of the tree as a singular, undivided object. we don't judge the woody knots of its past, or the rough estimations of its future. we see how its present blooms and withers in cycles over time, and we understand that that — all of it — is the tree.

can we do the same with ourselves?

can we love the past that shapes us?

can we cherish the future that protects us?

can we live fully in the present, in all its richness and aliveness?

and can we embrace the entirety of our tree for what it truly is, without judgement?

spring is coming. i'm excited to see how we all bloom.